Revenge?

[Nebulous]

Has anyone ever done you wrong? Did you get revenge on them? What did you do? Even if its petty / insignificant revenge, what did you do?

Has anyone ever gotten revenge on you? What did they do to you?

Do you think its better to be "the bigger person" and not exact any revenge?

 

[O_Bruce]

I can easily assure you that you would have a hard time finding anyone past 10 years old who never did wrong to anyone or had wrong done to them at some point. In my late teen years, then as a young adult and now as a theoretical adult, I find no serious attempts to act on a grudge. Yes, there are people and institutions I hate, but that doesn't mean I should waste my time on them. In my childhood, there were petty things, like writing somewhere an insulting message about my school bullies and such, but nothing serious really.

I don't think it is right or even beneficial for the wronged person to take their revenge. It wastes your time, more often than not it does not improve your situation, it isn't a long-term solution to anything and it actively encourages toxic behavior patterns that could later bite you in the arse.

 

[Urdnot_Wrex]

I agree with @O_Bruce that it's most likely for an adult (or even a child, for that matter) that we all probably have wronged someone or have been wronged by someone in the past.

I could give this example of "Revenge is a dish best served cold" and it might be a short relief to fantasize about revenge when hurt, and it's a common trope in movies and books, but I personally think life is too short to hold a grudge.

The person who has wronged you might not even have done so intentionally, and even if so, the constant thought about revenge will poison someone's mind and ultimately be a waste of time and energy.
Also, I happen to have had much contact with severely ill or dying people, and many who knew their days were counted used the remaining time to solve old conflicts and make peace with someone.
I don't remember anyone saying "I wish I had more time to live so that I could still exact revenge on that person and see them suffer". And if there were such a person who had these thoughts even on their deathbed, I expect they'd be very bitter and hateful and I wouldn't want to be that person, because it would have been a life with lots of lost time.

In the end, dwelling on revenge and acting on it will probably do more harm to oneself than to the person it's directed at.

 

[m7600]

I think that if someone has seriously wronged you, then instead of "revenge", what you should do is file a lawsuit against them.

Besides, if you exact some kind of revenge on someone, then a lawsuit could be filed against you, depending on what exactly it was that you did.

And, if someone wronged you but it's not serious enough for a lawsuit, then it's no big deal. You have a range of options here, depending on what your personality is like: you can ignore it, you can laugh it off, you can tell the person in question to go f--- themselves, etc. As long as you're not doing anything that could get you into a lawsuit (i. e., punching them or assaulting them in any other way), then you're fine.

 

[Nimran]

Feeling morally superior is all well and good, but sometimes nothing satisfies quite like seeing someone you hate get their comeuppance. That said, trying to orchestrate it is a waste of my time and energy, like others have said. I just let karma hit them like a truck, then snicker to myself while they suffer.

 

[Urdnot_Wrex]

Feeling morally superior is all well and good, but sometimes nothing satisfies quite like seeing someone you hate get their comeuppance. That said, trying to orchestrate it is a waste of my time and energy, like others have said. I just let karma hit them like a truck, then snicker to myself while they suffer.

Makes sense. Honestly, of course there are and have been situations where I've dreamed about revenge too, and where I would be tempted to want to seriously harm the other person. Ultimately, though, making another person suffer most likely won't educate them, won't stop them from doing it to another person (unlike legal consequences which might achieve just that), and they most certainly won't undo what harm as been done to me. "An eye for an eye" doesn't give it back to me.

 

[Nebulous]

"An eye for an eye leaves the whole world blind."